Maiden… Mother…

The energy a woman grows into and after the menopause has been described in two words that I personally find deeply offensive; hag and crone.

Like there’s not enough already going on that we need degrading words to describe this transformation as old, evil, decrepit and ugly.

I’m pretty sure they weren’t chosen by women.

Listening to Best Friend Therapy with Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed-Turrell (a great podcast, do check it out!) they were recently talking about crone energy and touched on changing the meaning of the word.

I understand why such words may have been used to label this time in a woman’s life, as there’s nothing more formidable than a woman in her power, especially when one doesn’t know how to match it.

However, we can shed this illusion to one of truth -

True wisdom.
True beauty.
True power.

Your truth, with all you’ve learned from your life experience to build upon, to share and guide others, to support and inspire.

And I’d like to offer another suggestion, to gently leave the words hag and crone in the past with all their visual connotations and embody another word. Matriarch.

Oxford Dictionary definition:
a woman who is the head of a family or tribe.
an older woman who is powerful within a family or organisation.

I would also define it as Queen.

It gives a hint of the power, wisdom, leadership and equality women embody at this time and importantly it is not about looks.

Matriarch is not to compare or dominate, cause harm or be jealous of others.

When a woman moves into menopause it’s a stage of great wisdom and power, an inner knowing of yourself and not giving two hoots about pleasing others above all else (most of us have done that to death). Many women find great strength knowing, loving and accepting themselves fully at this time.

One of the great gifts of getting older is being comfortable in your skin. This is definitely true for me, I was always so harsh on my appearance and thought I was going to change, mature, grow-up into someone else (not sure who?!) Then more recently in my early forties, realising this is me and that’s deeply invigorating.

What if we were to accept our physical changes? If we stopped wishing we looked younger and firmer, and instead took on the role of matriarch queen - with softness, owning our lifelines of experience.

Our gifts are truly blooming at this stage. And it is a gift to get this far.

I know of and see around me many amazing women in this stage of their life doing brilliant things; reinventing themselves and their careers, publishing books, transforming their relationships with themselves and loved ones, and stepping out from the shadow they had cast over themselves.

It’s the beauty of inner strength and confidence, that whatever comes your way, you can handle it, as you have done, time and time again over the years. 

A re-birth. 

It might be messy to begin with - transformations always are - letting go of regrets and dreams that did or didn’t happen, but then accepting you’ve got so much more to give and no one can stop you!

Matriarch for me describes a power, a wisdom and offers an arc into the next spiritual evolution of your soul.

The triple goddess - energy stages of a woman’s life